In regard to my previous post.
It’s come to a point where I really can’t take it anymore.
My emotional state has never really been the most stable. That’s why I avoided a long-distance relationship the first time. Now that I’ve given it a try….I cant do it. I really can’t. She’s amazing, yes, but what good is a relationship when one of the people in the relationship is so emotionally broken by how the relationship is working that they’re essentially dead emotionally?
So, yes, I’m going to be breaking up with Alexa. Yes, I’m barely keeping myself composed enough to write this. No, this isn’t really what I want. But what I want and what I need are two different things. If she had stayed here, she would’ve been what I needed. But even after tech school, she still doesn’t have a very good chance of getting stationed nearby. I can’t hold out that long. I’ve barely held out this long, and it’s still too much.
Dammit, I really don’t want to do this. But if I don’t….I just really don’t want to end up completely breaking down. As much as I know everyone would rush by to tr and help pick me back up, I can’t take doing that repeatedly. I’m just not that strong. And I know something stupid like distance shouldn’t change anything. and yet it did anyway. What does that say for the relationship?
We really didn’t have the time to establish our relationship strongly enough to be able to handle this. Well, for me to be able to handle this. I can’t do it. It’s not healthy. It’s just too much.
I just can’t take it anymore. And I hate it.
1 year ago • Notes