A random thought appears!
So, it’s been quite a while since Jaylene and I broke up. I got to thinking, and realized something kinda interesting.
Her main reasons for breaking up were complete and utter bullshit.
Now, I’m not saying that I think we shouldn’t have broken up. I’m in a pretty good place now. But to realize that her main reasons were that:
She didn’t like going to church. I thought we got past that obstacle back in the first year of our relationship.
Our plans for the future were too different. Honestly, the only difference was that while I would like to eventually have kids, she doesn’t want kids. FFS, WE’RE NOT AT THE AGE THAT WE SHOULD REALLY BE CONSIDERING THAT YET. Gah.
Now the kicker, the one that I really want to ask her if she’s even been able to validate as a reason: She wanted to go out and be able to drink with friends. Alright, this one, once I thought about it, really pissed me off. First of all, her reason to stop drinking in the first place was that she didn’t want to end up like her mom (at least, that’s what she told me). Also, the only person she ever went drinking with was her friend Kianna, and guess what, getting drunk was the only thing that even kept their friendship going. And considering she didn’t like most of the people Kianna went drinking with…well, I’m sure you see my thinking here. So this leaves me curious: Has she actually gone drinking in the past, oh, four months? Plenty of time for someone that used it as a large reason for ending a 2-1/2 year relationship.
Now, there were a few other things that, while understandable, could have at least been worked through. Due to my phone’s texting logs being rather odd, my texting habits came off as rather…clingy. She didn’t even give me a chance to explain that one. And the other reason was an isolated incident. She mentioned to me that she wanted to take a trip to Seattle with a guy friend whom I had never heard of, and the way the text was worded made it sound like inviting me was an afterthought. I got a little paranoid about it (She was already acting distant, and then pulls a name out that I’ve never heard, then makes it sound like the original plan was for just her and this guy to go up there by themselves for a day trip? Damn right I would get paranoid.) and questioned her a bit about who the guy was. She used this incident to pull the “Well, you obviously don’t trust me” card.
Thinking about all of this, it made me wonder: What the hell was her real reason for breaking it off? Was she trying to hide something? Or is my increasingly pissy mood combined with being tired just bringing out these thoughts?
Ugh, I need to stop thinking while at work. This place brings out either rage or depression….
1 year ago • Notes